These are the most common questions we hear. Far fewer people ask, “Was this choice even made by her? What other choices did she have access to? Why did over 180,000 families relinquish their children, knowing they may never see them again?” This film was conceived out of our frustration with narratives of adoption that exclude Birth Family or Original Family voices and frame adoption as beginning with their guilty choice. We grew up being told that our Original Families relinquished their parental rights out of “love”, but we never heard about their desperation.

During the boom of international adoptions in the 1980s, South Korea was still under the rule of a military dictatorship. Draconian population control policies were aimed at married women to drastically reduce birth rates from an average of six children to two (and later, to one). Sending children for overseas adoptions coincided with the strategy to decrease the population and promote the country’s economic prosperity. Traditionally, parental rights only went to the father. If he died or filed for divorce, the children would remain under the control of his family members. Therefore child relinquishment was usually decided as a family and in many cases without the mothers consent. It wasn’t until 2005 that mothers were granted rights on equal footing with fathers. 

Adoptee documentaries often center around the initial reunion with a redemption lens. It’s a time when emotions run high but it’s often not the most representative of the family’s relationship. This project began by asking, what happens a decade or two into a family reunion? What resources do families have or lack while attempting to stay in touch?

By making this film we hope to be another voice in the critical discourse started by generations of Adoptees before us. Between Goodbyes focuses on a queer transracial Korean Adoptee and her Original Family, but we hope it will resonate with all kinds of families.

In 2005, the United Nations estimated that over 260,000 adoptions take place globally each year (†). As of 2013, around 7 million Americans are Adoptees (‡). That means nearly 100 million Americans have an adopted person in their immediate family (‡).